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Sunday, August 30, 2015

What Codependent Love Addicts Have To Cope With

By Shawn Hunter


You will run into a lot of problems should you have certain addiction problems relating to love. Codependent love addicts have a hard time on a daily basis because there are many classic characteristics that will set them back. Some people go through their whole life coping in this way. However, it will definitely improve the quality of life by seeking professional help.

Someone who is codependent will struggle with control, and this involves controlling others in a relationships as well as being controlled by others. This can make one comfortable having that sense of responsibility. However, one also begins to be resentful and blame comes into play because of the boundaries that they have trouble controlling.

With basic codependency, one has problem with self esteem. It is difficult to love oneself. Boundaries are always a problems. One may find it difficult to protect against this. People who are diagnose with this have issues with self-care. They won't express themselves very well in terms of what is real.

When they are not in a relationship they start to withdrawal and become depressed. Having a relationship is almost like a obsessive compulsive mode that one goes through. Once they are involved with someone, they see their partner as a superior being. They start to fantasize about them in a way that is unrealistic. Once things don't turn out as expected, they become angry.

A lot of time is spent on these relationships, thinking obsessively about the partner or about future relationships. One will often do everything for the partner and it is never an equal based relationship which is not healthy. This kind of person needs to be taken care of, but it is very often unrealistic. Of course, this goes back to the childhood when parents or caregivers were not interested in the children and this made them feel unloved. This is the price theat they have to pay.

A love addict becomes lonely when they are not with someone and this is when they go into withdrawal mode. When they find someone to be with, they will find that this is like a drug which makes them high. It may not last because it is unhealthy. They will go through life from one relationship to the next in this mode, and it will probably effect the way in which they live and work.

A love addict will go though a stage or withdrawal should they not be in a relationship. However, this is not healthy since they battle to connect or bond with anyone. They were not able to do this as a child either and this has not since changed in anyway. They were neglected during this time and this is where the fear creeps in. It adds to the low self-esteem that they carry around with them.

A love addict will battle with self care as they focus more and more on obsessive thoughts of fantasizing and various relationships. In severe cases, they will continue to return to previous relationships and become abusive. The will probably only see things in their partner in a negative light. Their behavior will become offensive and obscure.




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