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Saturday, November 18, 2017

A Husband Hard Of Hearing

By Henry Hughes


As many baby-boomer wives know, marriages face new challenges as couples age. These hurdles are not necessarily more difficult, but they are different. One common problem is coping with a husband hard of hearing. Since hearing loss happens to most people after the age of 75, this changes life for more than half the senior population.

He comes home from a hard day and there's his wife, with dinner almost ready and a pleasant smile. He settles in for his favorite program, cranks up the volume a little (the set is getting old and the sound is not as clear as it once was), and relaxes. Suddenly there is his wife, looking cross and shouting - shouting - that dinner is ready. He doesn't realize that this is the third time she's said this and that she's shouting to be heard over the blaring TV.

One problem that doesn't have such an easy solution is that men, as they begin to lose their hearing, have trouble with high-pitched sounds. This, of course, includes their wife's voice. A woman who's used to pleasant conversation in the car or to communicating with her spouse in another room now finds herself often ignored. This may irritate her, which may bewilder her husband.

Husbands also may react badly to being shouted at, which a lot of wives find themselves doing. It's hard to sound dulcet and winsome at the top of your voice, and shouting also may cause a more severe expression than you intend. Counselors familiar with this conflict suggest looking directly at your man and speaking slowly and clearly rather than at very loud volume. This, unfortunately, requires more effort, and many women, experiencing the fatigue that often accompanies the 'golden years', may resent this.

Hopefully both partners want to avoid letting a physical problem derail a happy union. The husband may have to steel himself to getting hearing aids - never as good as natural sound - and having them adjusted until they work well. The wife will have to remember not to talk from the other room, to allow for background noise, and to keep a pleasant expression on her face even as she repeats herself.

Surgery and implants have become more common among seniors as technology improves. These more extreme measures used to be mainly for children who faced a lifetime of impaired hearing. However, many men feel that being able to interact with family and friends in all kinds of scenarios is worth it.

If you don't face this problem yet, it's still a good idea to get informed. All sorts of illnesses (heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and other circulatory problems) and medications can cause men to lose their hearing. Deafness, they say, is more isolating than blindness, so it's worth protecting your ears early in life and finding solutions to help people hear later.

Specialists, clinics, and professional technicians can provide information and testing to determine the level of loss. It will really help if husbands and wives work together to anticipate this problem and seek solutions.




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